faith
This remarkable day
It is a remarkable day for the Z family.
It is a day that God has chosen to show us His goodness, kindness, faithfulness and nearness.
This day a year ago our precious little boy came into the world. We had waited and waited for this incredible day, as the journey to his arrival was an anxiety filled one after I went into preterm labor at 29 weeks. But in God’s timing our little one stayed put until I was induced with him at 38 weeks. It was a wild ride leading up to his birth, but not something we were unfamiliar with {the wild part of the ride that is}.
You see, today is not only significant because our little one was born, but also because it was 10 years ago today that the mister took me out on our very first date.
After all we went through leading up to our son’s birth, his birth date reminds us that God has had a plan for us since before we even knew that our Heavenly Father was laying out the path in front of us.
So although it was a wild seven-year journey from our first date to our wedding day, and strict bed rest for the last trimester of my pregnancy with our little guy, God has been faithful and blessed us with so much more than we could ask or imagine.
When I choose to see Him, the evidence of His hand touching, guiding and molding every part of our lives is abundantly clear. My heart is grateful today.
I do not write consistently AT ALL anymore, but I hope that when I do, as you read you know that God is not a respecter of persons. Meaning, that if He will do this for our little family, you can be confident He will do the same for you.
Read MoreTo my guy and my man,
God has blessed me in incredible ways through the two of you. You provide so much joy in my life and though our journeys have been unique in their own right, I would not change a thing. I am a better woman because of you both and am looking forward to the years ahead of you little guy and where we will find ourselves in the next 10 years Mr. Z.
Love,
Mrs. Z and Mama
Our love. His love.
It’s a wild and crazy sisterhood out there. We may have nothing else in common but the one thing that brings us into the church nursery, to the infant swim lessons, into the PTA meetings. We remember the exact day our lives changed and will share it with each other without hesitation. We desperately try not to loose ourselves in these little ones but it certainly is a battle. We ache for times of quiet and peace, and yet our hearts are never quite as satisfied as when we see their scrunched up little face after a time away.
We’re mothers. We’re generation builders. We’re God’s chosen vessel to nurture and care for the lives He created to do His purposes. We are blessed. We are humbled.
As time goes on into this motherhood thing I’m amazed at how much I love it. It didn’t come right away for me. To be honestly raw, when my son was placed on my chest after he was born I was much more consumed with how painful labor and delivery was than this little precious being now laying on me {God bless those women who can say labor and delivery was the most beautiful thing they ever went through, I am not one of them. When I was done I literally looked at my mom and said I might be getting an epidural next time!}. And as the days went on I couldn’t believe the radical emotions I felt, from love to fear to angst. But as the months have progressed the joy and incredible love I have for this little one have grown in such measure that I never thought possible. I loved him the moment I saw the two pink lines, but this love keeps growing and growing and growing—something I did not anticipate.
As each day goes by I am overcome by the reality that this love I have for our sweet little boy—unconditional, fierce, irreplaceable—pales in comparison to the love the Father has for EACH of His children.
Including me.
If I, a mere human being could love with this capacity, how much MORE does the Father love us? How much more does He beam with delight when we accomplish His purposes? How much more does He hurt when we hurt? How much more does He long for good for our lives?
I am not one to make resolutions each New Year. But I am one who likes to live intentionally. I believe it is what God wants for us. And this year I am choosing faith over fear. If my God could love me the way He does—and I know He does—then what could I possibly fear?
I’m praying for 2013 to be a year of great faith where I trust in the everlasting, all-powerful Almighty who loves me with a love I can only partly understand and believe Him to knock my socks off no matter our circumstances. I hope the same for you too :-) Happy 2013!
Read MoreAnd I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians three 17 – 19
He is near
Photo Source
Like many, I can’t seem to pull myself away from the television wanting to know all there is about the nightmare being played out in a small town much like the one I grew-up in. Many of the shootings that have played out since Columbine (that’s the one that I remember most vividly as the beginning of this horrific type of crime) have rattled my heart. But this one seems to have hit me harder than most.
I find myself praying for them—the parents, the children, the first responders, the community and town as whole, everyone affected—multiple times a day. Tears often follow.
Perhaps it is the fact that I am a mom now to a sweet little boy of my own and I am always thinking of how to protect him.
Perhaps it is the fact that we are considering what small town we should move to from the big city to provide a better place to raise our children.
Perhaps it is because I grew-up in a small Connecticut town just a few miles from Newtown, similarly small and quaint.
Perhaps it is because this tragedy reminds me of the fear that I wrestle with on an ongoing basis: The knowledge that no matter what I do to try to protect my child I am limited.
Perhaps it is because no matter how hard it is to admit, evil does exist. And it comes in many forms.
My heart breaks for the parents of the children, the families of the teachers and the family of the killer. All are victims in this senseless tragedy and my human heart and mind cannot grasp what they must be feeling and thinking right now.
It’s situations like this when I need to turn to His word to know the Truth in the matter. If not, my emotions will tell me what to think and what to believe. And I know that those emotions too, can come from a sinful place, an evil place. But His word is Truth and He tells us He will never leave us nor forsake us. Sometimes that means taking us to Heaven earlier than we might think is right. He tells us that His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us. But He is also clear that we have a real Enemy who is out to steal, kill and destroy and that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powersof this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Today and in the days to come I will continue to pray for these families and the Newtown community. I cannot imagine the pain and gut-wrenching sorrow they are feeling. I hope I never have to, I hope no one else ever has too. But I do know a Healer and Comforter who promises to be near to the broken hearted and to heal the afflicted.
May His peace surround you today and His love abound as He comforts and guides you through this horrific tragedy. May His healing hands embrace each and every heart and bring an everlasting calm to your souls.
Read MoreDedication
This past Sunday was a very special day for our little family. We dedicated our sweet boy to the Lord. I have always loved baby dedications as I find it so powerful when the parents publicly give their child back to God and promise to raise him in the ways of God—knowing that ultimately the child, when the time comes, will need to make the decision for himself to follow Jesus.
As we stood on the platform at the front of our church and prayed along with our pastor over our sweet boy I was overcome by the reality that I was in the midst of a promise from God unfolding right in front of me. If you have been following my blog at all or know me, then you are aware that I knew with all my heart that when God brought Peter and I together it wasn’t just for us, but also for the generation to come. Sunday was another milestone in the manifestation of that promise.
We don’t know when Will is going to choose to follow Jesus. And there is a possibility he will not. BUT we are praying parents who will raise him to know the Lord and we certainly believe the Holy Spirit is more powerful than anything else on this earth. We are also believing parents that know NOTHING is impossible for God ().
I went to sleep that night both grateful for the gift of being sweet Will’s mother but also with the burden of the knowledge that this is a great responsibility. “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” That is no joke. I know my husband and I will be held accountable when we stand in front of our Lord and boy do I want to hear “Well done good and faithful servant.” But even more so, I want to know that my son will hear the same thing on the day he meets his God.
Read MoreThe receiving end
Resolute Woman
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a miracle and been so humbled by it because you know deep in the depths of your heart that you didn’t do anything to deserve it?
I haven’t been blogging as much due to our sweet baby boy and all that is required of me to care for him but if I were to be honest, he’s not the entire reason. It has been a hard season of faith for me. Let me explain.
There is a love that has ravaged my heart to the point of fierce protection. It has compelled me to a place of feeling almost super human at times. That might sound nuts, but I’m pretty sure that this love I have could propel me to take out a 300 lb 6 foot 5 man in a matter of seconds. You know, the don’t-you-touch-my-son-or-I-will-break-your-neck kind of strength. And where other women might be humbled by this and get on their knees even more and ask God to equip them for this journey not me, my independent streak has grown and I feel like I can do it all.
But I know, from previous experience mind you, I simply cannot do it all.
I cannot do it alone. I cannot do this life well without the power of the Holy Spirit.
But instead of heaping coals on my head and crushing me with the weight of the things of this world, my Savior performed a miracle. Instead of condemning me for foolishly thinking I could be the wife and mother he’s called me to be in my own strength, he showed Himself through a situation in which there is no way the outcome could have been any other than God Himself.
I am humbled by His mercy and grace.
In a time when to my human logic He has every right to “punish” me, He loves on my family and I and gently but hugely shows us that no matter how we treat Him, He will love us, care for us and provide. This compels me to get on my knees and pray, to read my Bible (His love letter to us), to praise Him in all things and serve Him always.
I can’t say it’s an automatic reflex to land on my knees every morning and open His word. It was at one point in my life. When I knew I needed to leave the house at a certain time to beat traffic and get into the office. A time when much of my responsibility was outside of my home. But now, the bulk of my priorities are in these four walls of our home, taking care of two incredible guys and working from a desk in our cozy living room. Some mornings I know I’ll have time to be with my Savior and others, well if the little one decides to boycott his morning nap, who knows what the day will hold.
In the end though, through this most recent miracle my Savior has gently and lovingly reminded me yet again that He is worthy of all my time and affection. That in Him all things are possible {Matthew 19:26} and He will provide for us. There is simply no need for me to rely on my own strength, because frankly, it just won’t work {Proverbs 3:5-8}.
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