our story
Redemption Story
I’m surrounded by His redemption story this week. I see it vividly in my own life and in living color in the Bible study I am doing right now.
His redemption brings JOY unspeakable, jaw-dropping amazement, and tear-filled eyes.
His redemption is meant for all, should we choose to take it. And I have chosen. I will never look back.
This week I will post my second entry on the Start Marriage Right website. It’s a risky entry as it is deeply personal. But my husband and I knew that when God walked us down the aisle our story would need to be shared. We know this is what God would have.
Our story is one of redemption with many incredible facets, some easy and some hard. And if there is anything we’ve learned over the years as He has written our redemption story and continues to do so, it is that sometimes it is pretty but most often it is the ugly turned into beauty that speaks loudest to the greatness, love and holiness of our Father.
And why would our story be any different than the epic accounts we read of in the Bible? Many of which I could recount here but one in particular that is of utmost timeliness and importance right now.
I’m studying the book of James right now and have one of the {I think} very best Bible study teachers ever. I know little about the man named James, at least until I started this study. And after just two sessions and one week of homework I am amazed. Utterly amazed.
James, the half-brother of Jesus, who once dismissed his brother as Messiah, became one of the pillars of the early church. James, who once mocked the Christ, played a significant role in establishing Christ’s church.
Redemption.
It’s ugly when families dispute and it is really ugly when it is in public for all to see. But God’s redemption plan takes the ugly of the ugliest and makes it stunningly beautiful.
Redemption.
I wonder, as we are surrounded by redemption stories in the Bible and in our own lives, why do we struggle to believe that His redemption is for us too? God is not a respecter of persons, which means He is not partial to anyone. Which means, redemption is for me and for you.
Will we keep our hearts and eyes open to see?
Read MoreA year ago today…
I love you more today than I ever have before and will love you even more tomorrow than I do today.
Read MoreTo never leave
via Eighteen 25
I thought I would share a little story to encourage you to stick to your convictions, no matter how hard or tempting it might be to throw them out the door sometimes {like giving up on serving your boss with grace and respect when he hands you another project after you’ve told him repeatedly that you’re not sure how you can take on anything else; or your child is making a scene in public and it’s just been one of those days and hauling off on them might feel like the only remedy to the situation; or when those shoes that you’ve been eyeing for months just won’t go on sale and you can convince yourself that the I-will-be-debt-free-in-a-year plan can wait}. I believe that more often that not, when we stick to our guns, His incredible blessings will follow.
I’ll never forget the first night home from our honeymoon. We had traveled virtually all day from Hawaii to LA to Chicago. We were pretty tired but we still had this joy and excitement about us. The thing was, we knew the fun had just begun. We lugged our suitcases up the stairs into our new home. New because just 10 days earlier it was my home. Now it was our home.
We walked through the front door and stood in the living room. Could this be for real?
After months and months of saying good night at the end of an evening, talking on the phone as one of us continued home from dropping the other off, could it really be no one was leaving?
Yep. It sure was.
Mr. Z held me in our new home. I lifted my head to meet his eyes and smiled at him. He said, “I’m not walking out that door tonight. I’m never leaving again.”
I had never been so grateful that we had stuck to our convictions, no matter how hard and tempting it was at times not to. We had a wonderful time in Hawaii and loved our honeymoon, but now, even real life, mundane daily things were a blessing because we had waited to make our home and believed in God’s plan for us. The sustaining grace and perfect strength of our ever loving and caring Father in Heaven had brought us to this beautiful place.
Read MoreOur Wedding Story: The Venue
We were engaged on August 6 while I was in the middle of managing some serious crisis response communications at work. To say it was a little hectic might be an understatement. But when we looked at the calendar, considered the holidays and Mr. Z’s occupation demanding virtually every day of the week of the first four months of every year, we knew we had to plan a wedding fast. We certainly did not want to wait until after tax season {April 15}. We finally settled on early November and knew at that point it was really up to whether or not the venue was available.
When Mr. Z and I had been engaged a few years earlier {if you’re not familiar with our story, you can read a snippet of it here} I struggled with a vision for our wedding. While many little girls dream of their wedding day and seem to have a pretty good idea of what their perfect day will look like, for some reason, this little girl wasn’t like that. But all that changed this time. I knew the proposal would be soon so for the months leading up to it I was picturing various scenarios in my head. Yet again it was all in God’s perfect timing.
Two scenarios were in my head. One was an outdoor summer wedding and the other was a candlelit winter wedding.
My parents have a beautiful backyard with a pool in a densely wooded area. It could be the perfect setting for a fanciful and romantic event with white lights strewn through the trees and manicured bushes and floating candles drifting in the pool. Doesn’t it sound lovely? I pictured mason jars with tea lights hanging in the trees and bouquets and centerpieces of wild flowers. It seemed almost magical in my head.
The winter version I saw involved a candlelit ceremony with dim lighting, soft, beautiful music and each guest would feel as if they were in the ceremony. I loved the idea of a cozy, intimate setting where you could feel the sweet presence of the Lord. I could see exposed brick perhaps, or stone flooring of some kind. I wasn’t quite sure what this might look like but I knew it would feel very intimate.
We knew with planning a wedding so quickly it would be less stress on everyone to have it in Chicago rather than my hometown in Connecticut. The problem, there was only one venue that I knew of in Chicago that met what I was looking for. Believing God that it would be available I called them and sure enough, we couldn’t get a Saturday, but the first Sunday in November was available. I was so excited! I just needed Mr. Z to like it too. Right, that might be a little more difficult.
I had a perfect vision of what it could look like and I knew we wouldn’t have to do much. And sure enough, we didn’t. The room where we had the ceremony had a warm intimate feel. Exposed brick lined the walls with dim lights secured to the perimeter and six beautiful wooden glass-pained armoires (I’m really not sure what to call them but they were filed with tea lights and stunning!). The room could only fit 120 seated and with the ivory chairs positioned on the beat-up hardwood floor and the beautiful arrangements lining the area for the altar, it was stunning. On our wedding day {even still now} I remember thinking, “I can’t believe this is our wedding!”
The reception was held in the bi-level cement, exposed brick store front area of the space. With access to the garden! Seriously, even now typing this I’m getting so excited I can’t even describe it properly… Well, I don’t think I will. Before I share some shots from A New Leaf, I want to point out that God, yet again, exceeded all expectations. We had perfect weather that day. I think it was right around 60 degrees which for November in Chicago is not bad, and the venue God made a way for us to use met all my desires for the setting for our wedding. With only 90 days to plan, He exceeded all expectations and knocked our socks off!
All glory goes to the Heavenly Father who it made it possible. Our wedding would not have been what it was had we tried to force it years earlier. In His perfect timing He gave us the most perfect day, and the venue was a part of that.
So without further delay here are some of my favorite shots of the venue from our wedding day :-)
All photos from Brian Kinyon PhotographyRead More
Our Wedding Story: The Proposal Part II {for real this time}
For a few months Mr. Z and I had been talking about going to Ravinia for the perfect date night. The last time we had been there was back in 2003 and at the time Mr. Z had mononucleosis—you know, the “kissing disease” that wipes you out—let’s just say he had the best outdoor nap of his life that night :-)
Mr. Z has many incredible qualities about him but planning is not one of them (coincidence that he married a planner? definitely not, God has a sense of humor). So when he said he bought tickets for Ravinia immediately I thought this must be it. In fact, the Ravinia date night being the proposal night turned out to be a running joke for us. You could often hear me saying for the month leading up to it, “Babe, I already know when you’re going to propose, you don’t need to make it a secret.” And then he would say, “I know, I think August 6 would be a great night.”
By now you might be reading this and thinking, you guys have a weird sense of humor. And the romantic-type girls are wondering how I could possibly think this is an ideal scenario for a proposal. Well, keep reading and you might understand it all ;-)
So as we joked for the month leading up to it we both knew it was coming. It’s just one of us thought it was going to be the week before.
After work that Friday I drove up to Mr. Z’s office in Lake Forest and we hopped in one car. We stopped at Whole Foods to get a picnic dinner for the evening and had the best time. We kept joking with each other that this would be our life if we could afford to be yuppies, ending the workweek by lounging on the lawn at Ravinia, listening to the CSO, munching on hummus and salads from Whole Foods. We thought we were quite humorous, knowing that would never be us. (I must admit though, sometimes it still sounds rather appealing.)
I even joked, “Springing for Whole Foods, I know you’re proposing for sure now.” He smiled and laughed and we just kept joking around—like the best friends we are.
It was a beautiful evening, not a cloud in the sky and warm but not hot. Perfect. We parked the car and headed to the gates. When we got there Mr. Z had me wait while he purchased our tickets.
Wait, what?!?!
I looked at him utterly confused. I thought he had bought our tickets already. The whole tickets purchased in advance thing is why it made complete sense that he was proposing that night, because that means he was planning, which he never does.
So this threw me off a bit. But not entirely.
Mr. Z got our tickets and we made our way to the lawn. We found the perfect spot with not too many people around. It was the most beautiful setting for us. We both love the outdoors and good food. But most incredibly, the last time we had been at Ravinia together neither of us was walking with the Lord. And now we had come full circle.
We sat and ate and talked for a good time and just after the sun set the time had come.
I sensed a nudging in my spirit to encourage the man that sat before me and so I did. I don’t entirely remember what I said, but I do know it had to do with how proud I was of him and the man of God he had become. I remember looking at him with tears in my eyes telling him that even though our journey had been hard I wouldn’t take any of it back for I knew that what was possible now was a direct result, and that I hoped I could be the support and encouragement for him that only a helpmate chosen by God could be to help him become even more of the man that God made him to be.
When I was done he took my hands and said some of the most wonderful things to me…things I barely remember as I got swept into the moment. But I do know he promised to always put me first, only behind the Lord and to love me forever.
We had been engaged once before with the fanfare and emotional excitement. But that was the thing for us; we had been there before. And while I hope every woman is proposed to in a way that speaks love to her, for me, this was it—just us, intimate, simple and beautiful (with bits of humor in between).
In 2003 I think we both would have scoffed at the thought that seven years later we would be in love with Jesus and getting engaged. But God knew and oh how beautiful did He make it and make us. It was such a fitting engagement scene.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 – He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Ravinia
Our Wedding Story: The Proposal Part 1
When Mr. Z and I were engaged and began planning our wedding I fell off the blog wagon. Today is our one-year anniversary from when we got engaged (woo-hoo!) and I’m a little sad I never documented the proposal or the wedding planning. Over the next few weeks/months (whose kidding, I have no idea how long this will take) I am going to do my best to document the experience that never made it to these pages.
Let’s begin with the proposal, or should I say what was going to be the proposal ;-)
On Sunday, August 1, 2010 I was awakened at 1:30 a.m. by my cell phone ringing. It was the Chief of Public Safety informing me that there was a four-alarm fire in the high-rise apartment building on the campus where I work. At the time I was boss-less (probably not the best way to phrase that) and therefore I was the one to head the communications. At that point I had pretty much ZERO crisis communications experience. I headed to campus at 2 a.m. and hit the ground running (mind you, on the way there I was praying and begging the Lord for help). I texted Mr. Z to let him know what was going on and to pray as well. I figured he wouldn’t see the text until he woke-up but I didn’t want him to be confused as to my whereabouts when he didn’t see me at church that morning.
For the next 17 hours we were in crisis mode. The apartment building houses some of our students as well as elderly section eight residents—most of who are Russian and speak broken English if that. We were not obligated to care for these residents, but we knew we had to. The Bible is pretty clear about taking care of the poor, widowed and homeless and frankly, we couldn’t bare the thought of these people not having somewhere to go. After a long day of getting the residents situated in their new living quarters and doing our best to keep them informed as well as determine how long the building would be unlivable, we went home.
God carried us through the first 24 hours but I knew this was only the beginning of an extremely challenging situation.
At about 4:00 p.m. that day Mr. Z stopped by the campus to grab my keys and I told him I was hoping to be leaving in about an hour. He was going to meet me at my place. On my way home I called him and a friend and asked them both to watch two different news broadcasts. The media had been on campus but I didn’t know which one was going to do the story.
When I walked into my condo, there was Mr. Z standing in front of the TV intensely watching. I was grateful. I looked on the kitchen table and there were a dozen beautiful long-stem red roses. I felt so encouraged, like he was supporting my hard work that day.
We ordered Thai food and he left to go pick it up while I showered. When he got back I was trying to stay awake on the couch. We were talking as he dished out our food and proudly told me, “DL knows I’m here. So we’re accountable for being here right now.” We tried really hard while dating not to put ourselves in a place of temptation. We have a past and really didn’t want to relive it. I said to him, “Okay.” Thinking: I don’t really care about squat right now I am way too tired. He brought me my food, I practically inhaled it and in no less than 20 minutes after eating, I was out cold on the couch.
Mr. Z covered me with a blanket and left.
Little did I know, that morning when Mr. Z read my text he texted his friend, “Fire at Moody. Guess I’m not going to propose.” I found out later the roses were for the proposal that he was still going to shoot for. But alas, I fell asleep.
Read More