Bible
The receiving end
Resolute Woman
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a miracle and been so humbled by it because you know deep in the depths of your heart that you didn’t do anything to deserve it?
I haven’t been blogging as much due to our sweet baby boy and all that is required of me to care for him but if I were to be honest, he’s not the entire reason. It has been a hard season of faith for me. Let me explain.
There is a love that has ravaged my heart to the point of fierce protection. It has compelled me to a place of feeling almost super human at times. That might sound nuts, but I’m pretty sure that this love I have could propel me to take out a 300 lb 6 foot 5 man in a matter of seconds. You know, the don’t-you-touch-my-son-or-I-will-break-your-neck kind of strength. And where other women might be humbled by this and get on their knees even more and ask God to equip them for this journey not me, my independent streak has grown and I feel like I can do it all.
But I know, from previous experience mind you, I simply cannot do it all.
I cannot do it alone. I cannot do this life well without the power of the Holy Spirit.
But instead of heaping coals on my head and crushing me with the weight of the things of this world, my Savior performed a miracle. Instead of condemning me for foolishly thinking I could be the wife and mother he’s called me to be in my own strength, he showed Himself through a situation in which there is no way the outcome could have been any other than God Himself.
I am humbled by His mercy and grace.
In a time when to my human logic He has every right to “punish” me, He loves on my family and I and gently but hugely shows us that no matter how we treat Him, He will love us, care for us and provide. This compels me to get on my knees and pray, to read my Bible (His love letter to us), to praise Him in all things and serve Him always.
I can’t say it’s an automatic reflex to land on my knees every morning and open His word. It was at one point in my life. When I knew I needed to leave the house at a certain time to beat traffic and get into the office. A time when much of my responsibility was outside of my home. But now, the bulk of my priorities are in these four walls of our home, taking care of two incredible guys and working from a desk in our cozy living room. Some mornings I know I’ll have time to be with my Savior and others, well if the little one decides to boycott his morning nap, who knows what the day will hold.
In the end though, through this most recent miracle my Savior has gently and lovingly reminded me yet again that He is worthy of all my time and affection. That in Him all things are possible {Matthew 19:26} and He will provide for us. There is simply no need for me to rely on my own strength, because frankly, it just won’t work {Proverbs 3:5-8}.
Read MoreBelieve
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I’m not sure how long I have been doing this for now, but around Christmas time I read the accounts of the Christmas story in Matthew and Luke non-stop for my devotions in the morning. You might think that gets a little boring, but it really doesn’t. One of the things I love most about the Bible is that you can read the same story over and over and a new truth might be revealed to you or your heart can be dramatically reminded of one you learned a few seasons ago.
That’s where I found myself recently, being reminded of a beautiful truth God revealed to me in the Christmas story years ago. I hope I can do it justice in this space today, as it is so very powerful.
In Luke 1 we are first introduced to the priest Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth {Elizabeth being the cousin of Mary, the mother of Jesus}. The Bible explains that there will be one who will go before the Savior and make the way for him so how fitting for Luke to begin his narrative introducing the future parents of the one to go before the Lord.
For those who do not know the story, Zechariah was chosen to bring the incense into the temple for burning while all the rest waited outside and worshipped. While he was in the temple an angel of the Lord appeared to him and told him to not be afraid, but that his wife will bear him a son and he is to call him John. The angel explains how his son will make the way for the Savior.
This is a BIG deal. And not just because an Angel is speaking to Zechariah but also because Elizabeth is barren and they are both quite old. So Zechariah questions the angel {side note: can you imagine being in the presence of an angelic being and questioning what it’s saying to you? I think I would just be standing there in awe with jaw on the ground… but maybe that’s just me}.
Zechariah says, “How can this be? I am old and my wife is too.”
The angel, whose name is Gabriel, becomes greatly offended {I think I would to if I were him, he just gave Zechariah the best news the guy could have asked for as he and Elizabeth have wanted a child}. So Gabriel says to Zechariah, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.”
Zechariah is unable to speak for quite some time. Everything happens as the angel told Zechariah it would. And when John is born, Zechariah’s voice comes back.
This story is remarkable to me and speaks to how little control we really have over things. You see, I have written in the margin of my Bible right next to this story:
“Even in Zechariah’s unbelief God was still going to do what He said He would do.”
And that is the beauty of this story. Contrast Zachariah’s response to the angel with Mary’s and we see two very different postures before the Lord, but we also see two of the very same outcomes.
What the Lord has destined to happen will happen despite our unbelief.
Now, I’m not encouraging unbelief, on the contrary, I’m trying to encourage great belief no matter how radical or crazy the promise that God has given us may seem. But I do want us to see that His promises are NOT contingent on our belief.
I can specifically remember, while waiting for God to bring my husband, that there must be something wrong with me or I must not be doing something right as I see all these other women being blessed with men in their lives and yet I was not.
It was this story that helped me see His plan will unfold in His timing for His purposes and in His perfection. His plans were not contingent upon me, in that, as long as my heart was surrendered to Him and I desired His will above mine, His promises were going to come true.
Did I trust Him?
Did I trust His timing?
Did I trust that He is ALL POWERFUL and I am not.at.all?
Zechariah had a deep desire in his heart to have a child and be a father. I wonder if he had a hard time believing the angel because it was such a deep desire and it seemed it would never come true. I believe that was part of my problem. And being a little bit of a control freak at times {I might be exaggerating on the little} of course my husband coming into the picture was contingent upon me.
But you see, God wasn’t asking Zechariah to DO anything, but to just trust in the truth. He lost his voice for months because of his unbelief, but his unbelief could not stop God’s plan.
Whatever you are waiting on God for today, do not give up. And don’t think that you have enough power to thwart His plans. Seek to believe and trust and know that His timing is perfect. His plans will be fulfilled—we cannot stop Him. We can choose to believe and watch Him move in ways we could never imagine and be a part of His plan, allowing our voices to be used for His glory in the process. And remember, His truth is He will work all things out for the good of those He has called. Believe today.
Believe.
Read MoreBaby Prayers
Every morning I follow a certain routine. I roll out of bed, stumble up the stairs to the kitchen, try to avoid checking my phone immediately {most days I am unsuccessful, we’re a work in progress}, attempt to make just enough coffee for Mr. Z and I and not too much {this too I am rarely successful at} and so goes the morning routine. At one point I always find myself cuddled on our chaise lounge with my Bible and my coffee.
At this stage of life, with Baby Z growing inside me, my prayers often have to do with learning to savor this time as well as prepare for the gift we will receive in the spring of next year. A few weeks ago I was quite overwhelmed with prayers for Baby Z. There are so many things I would like to pray for this little one and yet as I considered them all I was paralyzed. Where do I start?
- Health
- Safety
- His/her future
- To parent him/her well
- That we would bond immediately
- S/he would like us ;-)
- S/he would love Jesus
And the list could go on. I truly didn’t know where to begin and then wondered if the prayers I thought I should pray were even any good. So my prayer changed to, “Father, show me how to pray for this little one. Show me your heart for the one you are knitting together inside me.”
Our God is so many things, one of which is kind, gentle and right on time. I opened my Bible and as I began reading a verse called out to me and I knew this was to be my prayer for now.
“May the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.” 2 Thessalonians 3:5
I experienced one of those beautiful moments with my Maker when I knew He was showing me what to pray for Baby Z.
Oh little one, may the Lord direct your heart into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance for all the days of your life. Let it begin now as you grow, created in His image for His purposes.
I wrote this verse on a piece of scratch paper and taped it to the mirror in my bathroom. Every day I see it and pray it. And the more I do the more I see how profound this verse is for a life in Christ. It is through our hearts being directed into God’s love that we are then able to persevere through this life. I know this child will face many joys and many difficulties in his/her life. If his/her heart is sheltered in God’s love then s/he will be able to possess the perseverance of Christ and live a victorious life.
I continue to pray for health and safety and that s/he would like us {among other silly things too}, but I have an overarching focused prayer on what I really believe He wants for this little one.
Did you pray a specific verse over your little one while s/he was in the womb? How about as s/he grew into toddler age and older?
Read MoreThe benefit of weird habits
I have this very strange habit of clicking on links from tweets, e-mails, whatever, and letting tab after tab open in my Mozilla Firefox browser and then forgetting about these oh-so-very-important articles/devotionals/new studies. I’ll let them sit there for weeks on end before I finally go back and “clean house.” If you didn’t know, Firefox has this great feature when you close the browser it asks you if you’d like to save all the tabs you have open. And I of course always click yes.
Well, this weird habit of mine actually proved useful today as I was cleaning house and stumbled upon this blog post through The Gospel Coalition. I must have opened it a couple weeks ago but today it seems even more relevant and timely than it would have been then. I wish I could say I read this prayer and suddenly felt better about the season of change I think I am in, see I’m not even totally sure it’s a season of change, but I don’t. But I do know there is TRUTH in this devotion and while I might want to feel better the fact of the matter is, sometimes we have to choose trust and then our feelings follow.
I hope this ministers to you :-) I’ll be pasting this in my journal and going back it to frequently.
A Prayer of Trust for Seasons of Change
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8
Dear heavenly Father, in the morning, at mid-day, in the afternoon and throughout the night, keep on bringing us word of your unfailing love. That’s all we need, that’s all we really need. By the Holy Spirit, incessantly gossip the gospel in our inmost ear. Wrap the good news of your boundless, endless affections around our hearts, tighter and tighter and tighter. Permeate every bit of our being with your fresh mercies, steadfast love and transforming grace, for we have put our trust in you.
Father, it’s the assurance of your unfailing love which enables us to trust you with the transitions we go through in life and the uncertainties about the future. Change is never easy. Change makes us feel vulnerable, fearful and insecure.
We get tempted, once again, to be our own savior. Spare us that misery, Father, spare us and those we love. May our broken cisterns hold bitter water and our idols of choice fail us quickly. May your Word dwell in us richly; your peace rule in us powerfully; and your glory be our main passion and delight.
We’ve entrusted our lives to you, Father, because you alone are trustworthy. We’ve given you our sins, wounds, brokenness and weakness. Now, in fresh surrender, we give you our planning for the next season of our lives. Show us the way we should go through our transitions—transitions of age and stage; career and calling; health and finances; relationships and ministries. Write stories of redemption beyond our wildest dreams and hopes. It’s all about you, Jesus, not us, you.
We’re not so arrogant as to expect all the details. Just take us by the hand and lead the way. Father, continue to open doors we cannot shut and shut doors we cannot open. All we need to know is that you love us and that you’re with us. You’ve promised us both, and you do not lie. So very Amen, we pray, in Jesus’ peerless and priceless name.
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His nudging brings me back
Today is a great day. I feel satisfied. The bed has been made with new sheets, the guest room is just about ready for Mr. Z’s sister to stay the night next weekend, laundry is being done, I ran five miles, sent some emails that have been nagging at me and I dyed my hair (yep, I use hair dye from a box and yes I NEED to—I am 31 with plenty of gray hair. One day I hope to have beautiful long gray hair…although I’m not sure my hair will do that as all the grays I have now stand straight-up and are quite coarse and unruly. Oops, total rabbit trail, back to what I was typing).
But completing all those things is not the root of why I feel satisfied today. God woke me up today. Tenderly and gently like only Abba can, He nudged me and I finally allowed the nudge to draw me near to Him. He is so gracious, gentle and patient.
There is a passage of Scripture that just might become my life passage (okay, I know most people have life verses, but this girl needs a passage. One verse just ain’t enough. ;-) It’s Colossians 4:2-6—
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
In a date-to-be-determined blog post I’ll explain why I want to make this my life passage, but for now it’s just important to note that it comes from Colossians. So when it came time to be with the Lord today I landed here. I’ve read this book in the Bible before. How many times I’m not quite sure but it must be a few as I’ve marked different verses and written notes in the margins. But just as only God’s Word can do, this time around the entire book stood out to me.
Paul is lovingly informing the church in Colosse that what they need most is Jesus. Rules and legalism were overtaking their dependency and love of the Lord. They were relying more on the things man created than the saving grace of their loving Father and His Son.
And it hit me. I’ve been trying to find my inspiration, define my steps in life, and figure out how to be a blessing of a wife in the rules I’ve made up in my head rather than relying on my Savior. The more time I spend with Him the greater the blessing I can be to my husband, the better I will see inspiration when it’s right in front of me, and the steps of this life, well, they’ll be His steps, not mine and therefore they’ll be the best.
I’m eager to dive deeper in Colossians over the coming days, but for now, I’m thankful for my God who will not let me get too far into myself and my own plans before he nudges me and brings me back to Him. (Hopefully this post makes sense to an outsider, it does in my head, but that doesn’t say much!)
Read Moreafter
I’m reading Praying the Names of God by Anne Spangler in my devotions and currently I’m reading about YAHWEH (LORD). I thought I’d quickly share about the little kick in the butt I got through this devotion :-)
Exodus 3 is where the scene unfolds in which God meets Moses, tells him he will rescue the Israelites and if they ask who sent him, he is to say God. Moses asks God what he should tell them if they ask for His name. And God responds, “tell them I AM has sent you.” Now I could try to go into what God means by I AM, but that’s not really what stood out to me this week. What really stood out to me is the preceding portion of the passage.
Moses questioned God, why me? Why send me to do this?
And instead of explaining why He chose Moses, God says:
“I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
Do you see it? God didn’t answer Moses’ question. He doesn’t have to. If God tells us to do something, we need to trust. But that’s not the part that really stood out to me this time. What did was the sequence of events. God said you will know it is I who sent you because after you bring them out of Egypt you will worship me. See that, AFTER you bring them out of Egypt. AFTER! AFTER you step out in faith and follow my leading you will know it is I who have sent you.
I ask for God to confirm matters of stepping out in faith over and over and over again. And I question if I’m really the right person for the task over and over and over again. Ahh, but that’s faith. Stepping out and trusting God to do what He does best. Be with me, walk with me, lead me, guide me, keep me.
Happy Saturday :-) go step out in faith today!
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