Love is a choice

Love is a choice.

It’s a phrase I’ve heard so many times. And it is a phrase I tend to agree with.

But not entirely.

Having a baby, my sweet Will, has shown me another kind of love. And it certainly is not a choice. It is much more like a reflex. I have no control over it. And I feel like I’ve been blindsided by it.

He has done nothing to earn my love, nothing to make me love him. He just is. And I just LOVE him. With every fiber of who I am. It is a fierce love that when I am not with him for even the shortest period of time I miss him with an intensity I’ve never experienced.

And he has no idea. He has no understanding right now of just how much I love him. Frankly, I don’t know that he ever will. I never understood how much my mom loved me until I brought this little guy into the world. Now I understand. And I am floored.

In this way, love is not a choice. It is the result of God’s design. Only a Father who loves His children unconditionally and without warrant could design a human being to love this way.

This love has given me a small glimpse into God’s love for His children and I will be forever changed. He has enabled me, a fallen woman, to love with depth that I didn’t know was possible. And to think that our God loves us even more.

Oh how He loves us. That He would send His Son for a wretch like me.

Love is a choice. But sometimes it’s a reflex.