Oh the Irony!

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For those of you who read The Block, you may have seen the post I wrote about my fears of motherhood. I had been writing that entry for a couple days before it was ready to post. The irony of it all was that I had no idea I was pregnant. I knew it was a small possibility, but I had never been pregnant before and since I was training for a marathon I just assumed the fatigue I was feeling was from all the training. I even had symptoms that my lovely visitor was on its way so I really didn’t think I was with child. I posted that entry on Thursday. I was scheduled to run 18 miles on Saturday. On Friday I felt a strong nudge to take a pregnancy test, partly because of running 18 miles on Saturday and wondering if I should really run that distance if I was. But in all seriousness, my hunch leaned much more towards not pregnant rather than pregnant.

Mr. Z got home from work that Friday night and immediately came in, grabbed my car keys and took my car to go pick-up our mountain bikes from the bike shop. Our plan was to head to Michigan the next day after my run to enjoy the official last weekend of summer. When he left I grabbed his keys and headed to CVS. Lucky for me there was a clerk standing in the aisle where the pregnancy tests were locked behind glass. I asked him to open it and he seemed a bit nervous and even turned his back as I went to pick one out. In my head I was thinking, “It’s okay, if I’m pregnant this is a good thing, no need to turn your back.” I left it in my head though, no need to freak out the clerk as I was about to freak out myself.

When I got home I went ahead and took one of the tests wholeheartedly expecting it to come back negative. Far from it though, it didn’t take but a second for the two little lines to show-up. I had an array of emotions sweep over me, predominately disbelief. I quickly transitioned to a state of shock. We knew we could get pregnant at any time but for some reason I had it in my head it would be a few more months. This was fast.

Sure enough there was a minor issue with one of our bikes so Mr. Z’s “quick” trip to the shop wasn’t so quick. I think I downed two full glasses of water for test #2 while I waited for him. I paced through our living room a bit and then sat on the couch blankly staring into space. Suddenly everything was different. Ten minutes ago we were heading to Michigan. Now, we’re having a baby. WHOA.

When Mr. Z got home I asked him how everything went and after he told me about the bike issue I stood in front of him and told him I needed to tell him something. He looked down at me {he is 6’4” and I’m 5’5”} and said, “What? You’re pregnant.” I said, “Kinda.” “What do you mean ‘kinda’?” “Well I took a test and it came back positive.” And then he went into I-just-went-to-the-bike-shop-and-come-back-and-your-pregnant? disbelief mode.  I was still kind of there too so I promptly took another test, Lord knows I drank enough water while waiting for him.  Sure enough the second test did the same thing.

We were both in this strange happy yet still unsure of what this all means place for the rest of the evening. We decided I wouldn’t run the 18 miles the next day and wouldn’t run the full marathon either. I was a little bummed at this as I’m pretty sure I would have gotten a personal record, but we both knew this was the best decision for us for our baby.

I received the image at left in an email from Baby Center not long after we found out we were pregnant. This image should pretty much have my face on it. The entire time we were in Michigan I kept starting conversations with, “Well, if we’re pregnant…” It drove Mr. Z nuts! His thoughts: “You took two pregnancy tests, what else do you need?”

So when this image came through a Baby Center email a few weeks after we found out we got a pretty good laugh out of it :-)

It wasn’t until a week later I realized why I had such a hard time believing this little one was really there and really growing {post to come on The Block this Thursday}.